Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and Henry decided that he didn’t want me to lift a finger. So he and my other two boys cleaned the house top to bottom, filled and emptied the dishwasher, did all the laundry…wait…I can’t even finish this sentence without laughing, so I’ll stop there.
No, Henry decided that he didn’t want me to do anything too strenuous, so he found the Sunday circulars, and he decided that his job would be to clip coupons for me. Phew. That really took a load off me. You know, I was just thinking how the most difficult job around this house is the coupon-clipping. I can’t tell you how many times I risk serious injury just to clip coupons for this family.
I would have preferred that he chose something like filling or emptying the dishwasher for me, but it was a nice gesture, and beggars can't be choosers. I shouldn't turn down even the littlest amount of help, no matter how it comes.
I guess I would call myself a “recreational coupon-clipper” because I love a good bargain, but I am not that skilled in the art of coupon deals. I always watch “Oprah” or some other show when they feature women who can whittle an $872.00 grocery bill down to $10.17, but I know that I am not, nor will I ever be, that woman. I am just proud of myself when I can reduce my grocery bill by a few bucks.
So yesterday morning, Henry pulled the coupon circulars from the Sunday paper, spread them out on the kitchen table and went to work. (Of course by the time he was done, there were so many clippings all over the table and floor that I had to clean them up myself, which actually made more work for me, but he was really trying to help, so I didn’t say anything negative.) I also didn’t tell him which coupons to clip because he wanted to decide that himself. He put them into two piles: a “Mommy” pile and a “Daddy” pile. I’m not sure why he did that, because Daddy doesn’t give a hoot about coupons, and thinks they’re a waste of time. But I digress.
When he came to me with the “Mommy” pile, it included coupons for random things like mustard, cake mix, and cereal. But the “Daddy” pile was quite interesting.
At the top of the “Daddy” pile was a coupon for this:
Henry was especially excited about this coupon. He said, “Mom, this is underwear for Daddy! It’s two dollars off!” Well...I guess you could call it “underwear”, (and I’m sure the advertisement associated with it called it “underwear”, since Henry must have clipped it for a reason) but big brother Charlie quickly informed him that it is not underwear. He told Henry that this coupon is for “diapers for Daddies who poop their pants.”
And thankfully, our Daddy doesn’t do that.
Henry’s little face was so crestfallen because he thought he was really helping me out on this one, and I didn’t want him to be embarrassed or discouraged, so I made a few jokes about poopy pants at the expense of Daddy (who is a great sport, by the way) and Henry was okay.
Then the next two coupons in the pile were these:
First of all, look at the cutting skills on these two coupons. So precise.
Bill and I literally had to choke back our laughter. I asked Henry why he clipped these coupons, and he told me it was because “it was hair gel for Daddy."
Yeah…I kind of just let it go at that.
I looked at Bill and said, “I just figured out what I’m going to write about in my next blog entry.”
Just when I thought I was stumped on ideas, turns out I’m not stumped.
You just can’t make this stuff up.