Tuesday, June 9, 2009

What is this?

I have a little brain-teaser for you. What is this curved shaped rubbery object?

Give up?

It’s a boys’ protective cup.

If you got it right, then I’m sure you have a son.

Why am I writing about my oldest son’s protective cup?

Because I have to vent.

And this thing is really starting to gross me out.

My oldest boy plays baseball in the summer and football in the fall. Twice a year this red thing comes out of his underwear drawer for weeks at a time. Do you think it goes back into the underwear drawer where it belongs?

Um, no.

He comes home from a practice or game it ends up on the floor in the kitchen, bathroom, or even food pantry. As soon as I notice, I immediately make him pick it up and put it in his drawer where it belongs. But sometimes I don’t notice it until I see my daughter carrying it around, or my 4-year old son using it as a bridge, and driving a car over it.

It is kind of shaped like a bridge, so I guess my boy's imagination isn’t too far off.

I grew up with 5 sisters, so I’m new to this boy thing. With my oldest, we’re just starting to delve into the world of protective cups, but what the…?

Do all boys/men do this?

Since I don’t think I’ve totally grossed you out yet, hold on to your seat. I may or may not have found the above protective cup in the mouth(s) of one or more of my children at some point in time.

Excuse me while I retch.

I guess the fact that is has rubbery edges makes it an ideal chew toy.

Except that it’s not.

Since this blog entry is probably embarrassing enough to my children, I’m not going to bust any child in particular, but I may have seen one or more of them absentmindedly chewing on it during an episode of “Spongebob.” Or while playing with a toy. Or just because it was there.

If you were to psychoanalyze my kids, you would find that they have somewhat of an oral fixation. They have all either sucked their thumbs, or used a pacifier at some point since birth. Even now, the older ones will chew on the occasional pen cap or pencil.

Seriously. I know I've said it before, but you can’t make this stuff up.

Like I said, I just had to vent.

Speaking of “venting,” the cup has 3 air holes in the top of it for ventilation. I’m sure if the cup didn’t have holes in the top of it, it would become a juice cup for one of my kids. In fact, the reason it crossed my mind to write about it, is because it is constantly showing up in the most random places, like the toy box.

And my kitchen counter.

Yeah, that would be the same kitchen counter where I prepare food for my family on a daily basis.

My son recently wrote his name in pen across the top of it.

Phew. I'm glad. I almost got it confused with my protective cup.

Or my daughter's.

I should just take it away from him, like I would if it were a toy that he kept leaving out, but I can't. He needs it.

Gotta protect my boy.

Oh well. I love these kids.

Crazy, bad habits and all.

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