George: Mom, what are these toys here? Are these presents for us?
Clare: No, G. Remember those cards we pulled at church? These toys are for the kids on the cards.
George: No fair! Why do they get these toys?
Clare: Because those kids need the toys, and they asked for them. They are kids who don't have a lot of money, and maybe their mommy or daddy doesn't have a job, and can't afford lots of Christmas presents. So we are helping them out by giving them what they want. See, this girl requested Hannah Montana stuff, so we got her a Hannah doll. It's so important to always help others.
(Clare is feeling puffed up and proud at the moral lesson she has just imparted to her child. These are pure pearls of wisdom.)
George: Oh man! No fair!
Clare: George, these toys are for poor kids. You have lots of toys and a nice home. We have to give to others. We have to help others!
George: No fair. I wish I was poor. They get all the cool stuff.
Clare: George! No, you do not wish you were poor! You should be grateful for all you have! Some of these kids might not even have houses or beds, or dinner every night!
George: Yeah, but they're gonna get these toys. So they're lucky.
Clare: (frustrated, deflated, out of words, trying to explain to a 5-year old what "poor" really means) Let's just always give to and help others, George. Okay?
George: Okay, Mom.
Um...yeah. I think it's time to have a chat about values again at this house.