My daughter, with every fiber of her 32 pound, 3-year old being, wants a dog.
It is a fact that she reminds us of several times a day. Last week alone, she asked us, "Can I get a puppy, pleeeeeeease?" an average of 287 times.
Dare I use the word, "obsession"?
At her age, we have already started giving her the "stranger danger" talk. You know, the talk about not talking to strangers, not going near strangers, and not taking anything from strangers. However, we have now had to add the "stranger dog" talk to the mix because without fail, if she sees a dog in public, or walking down our street with its owner, she will drop whatever she is doing, run over to it, and pet it. She will coo as she strokes the dog, "Hi Puppy! Hi Puppy! You like me!"
Thankfully, we have not crossed paths with a Rottweiler or a Pit Bull yet. I shudder to think of it.
She has an assortment of dog stuffed animals that she likes to sleep with, play with, strap a leash on and pull around the house. Most kids beg for trips to the ice cream store. My daughter begs for us to take her to the pet store, so we can watch the dogs play with each other through the big glass window at "Doggie Day Care".
But last Thursday evening, my daughter took her obsession to a new high. Or low. However you want to look at it.
The same thing happens almost every night. I spend an hour or more preparing dinner, only to have my children scarf it down in two seconds flat and ask, "May I be excused? I wanna go outside/play a video game/watch TV." Last Thursday night was no exception. After a homemade dinner of sweet and sour chicken with brown rice and eggrolls, our children vanished to parts unknown in the house. As Bill and I sat at the table, rehashing our day and enjoying our meal without having to inhale it like our children do, we saw our daughter pulling something and saying, "Come on puppy, come on!"
At first, we didn't think much of it. You know, with her aforementioned dog obsession and all.
Until we saw what it was that she was pulling as her "dog".
It's a plug, you guys. A plug. For a keyboard.
Have you ever seen anything more pathetic?
We are mean parents. Why is it that don't we have a dog?
Oh yeah. Because I just finished potty training my fourth and final child. I have cleaned up enough poo messes in the last ten years and I'm just not ready for the kind that comes from a four-legged being.
I'm. just. not. ready.
There will definitely come a day when this family owns a dog. That is a promise that I can keep. I am a dog lover, and I am of the belief that my children need a dog. At some point. Just not yet.
After having four kids in six years, I need to slow down and catch my breath.
Back to the doggy plug.
Our jaws dropped as we saw that our daughter had turned a simple AC plug into her latest pet. Safety issues aside, there is nothing snuggly about this heavy black box.
Bill treaded lightly as he said, "Wow, honey! What's that?"
"It's my doggy, Daddy!"
"Oh really!" I continued, "And what's your doggy's name?"
"Lulu." she replied without hesitation.
Lulu. I like it. Remind me to add it to the short list of names if we get a girl dog.
"Lulu? That's a cute name!" Bill said. Then he bent down to the floor and petted the plug.
He. petted. the. plug.
I love this man.
Then he said as he pointed to the two prongs on the plug, "Are these Lulu's teeth?"
Incredulous, my daughter looked at my husband and scoffed, "No, Daddy! Silly! Those are Lulu's feet!"
Oh. Shame on us for not recognizing a fake dog's feet when we see them.
A dog. We will get one someday.
She's wearing us down.