Sunday, August 8, 2010

Oh Target, you did it again.

Target did it to me again.

We went there this morning after church as a family to buy shampoo, sunscreen, twin-sized sheets, and Scotch tape.

And that's it.

Who knew these few things would cost around $200?

Who knew that I also needed a funky little bracelet, Pull-Ups, nail polish, honey-roasted peanuts, packs of socks for each of the kids, a few school supplies, one container of Flarp, (It's like Silly Putty. But it farts. My son has informed me that it's fartaliciously fun. And yes, "fartaliciously" is a word. Also, yes, I do realize that we need a toy around here that farts like I need a hole in my head. But it was $1.00, and has so far, provided endless entertainment since we returned home. It was $1.00 well spent.) and other assorted etcetera of which Target has a vast supply.

Who knew that I would now be the proud owner of this?



If you look closely in the picture, you can see that this is one pound six ounces of cheese balls.

ONE POUND SIX OUNCES OF CHEESE BALLS, PEOPLE.

For those of you who failed math, and don't have a head for numbers, the container is about 12 inches high, 7 inches wide, carry the 1, subtract the 4, x times y, add the mass, and then divide the whole thing by 3.41 and you have a FREAKIN' CRAPLOAD OF CHEESE BALLS.

Bill reminded me that people spend more money and buy unnecessary items if they shop for food while hungry.

I will go on record and say that in this instance, my husband is right. Hear that honey? You are RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT. And I am WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. But just this time. Don't go getting a big head over it.

Did I mention that we were all so hungry that I was about to take a bite out of a Merona flip-flop if I didn't get some food in my stomach like five minutes ago?

It was at that moment that the cheese balls found us. They were just sitting on their shelf, in their orange, processed, deliciously disgusting glory, all, "Look at me! I'm a huge container! I'm only $4.99! When was the last time you ate an orange cheese ball anyway? You know you want to buy me!"

I am usually able to resist the begging and pleading of my children, but I just stared at the container like it was a juicy steak. I fed myself a line of b.s. that went, "Hmmm...it's summer. What's the harm? They're just cheese balls! They're like eating air! And look! I can totally reuse this container for the kids toys. So I'm being green! The earth wants me to buy these cheese balls! Because of the container. The reusable one."

Therefore, Clare loves the earth, so she bought the cheese balls. Into the red cart the cheese balls went.

Oh Target, you know I can't quit you.

One more thing. I forgot to buy Scotch tape.

I cannot be trusted at Target.

8 comments:

  1. I swear on all things holy, Tarjay uses illegal, old school subliminal messages, as it is a virtual certainty, there is a $100 cover charge just to get in the door. And yet, it was our family's first outing when we got home from vacay yesterday....had to truck off to Target for........um, I forget. But I know it wasn't cheap. Grr!

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  2. I cannot believe the aptness of this post! Just yesterday we returned from the beach and of course we had no food, no sundries whatsoever. This necessitated a trip to Target this morning with my three girls. My oldest picked up that very same barrel of cheese balls and we laughed about how unutterably huge it was. My thing I forgot to get? Napkins. I hate running out of napkins.

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  3. Oh please tell me you bought the cheese balls! I just couldn't get over the hugeness of the container, and I had to own it. Unfortunately, I forgot about the unsightly orange stains that cheese ball-hands leave on everything. Lesson learned.

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  4. too funny...

    that's why I am on a Target diet nowadays.

    i swear that bulls-eye is meant to hypnotize...

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  5. This made me laugh. I always ALWAYS eyeball those cheeseballs. Haven't pulled the trigger yet. But hey, it's worth it just for the blog fodder, right? Oh and of course the cheeseball themselves because YUM.

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  6. Found you on The Blog Brew Review. :) So glad I did! I think I have found a kindred soul...if I escape Target without dropping over a hundo, I call it a successful trip. I was just mulling over the idea about whipping up a blog post on this very topic...think I'll wait a while now...you'd be a tough act to follow. ;) You hit the nail on the head with this post!

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  7. Thanks for the kind words, Sue! As far as I'm concerned, you can't wax poetic too much on the beauty that is Target. Also know as, "Tar-jhay" to us uppity ups. :) So write away, and I can't wait to check out your blog!

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  8. This was awesome! Literally LOLed (and who does that)? Target is totally evil.

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