Monday, March 7, 2011

Big things are happening 'round here.

It's a big week for me.



I am chairing the auction for the Catholic school that my children attend, and the event is this Saturday. It has been buckets of work, but in the most rewarding way possible. We have a wonderful theme, fabulous food and drink, and best of all? We have a great crowd of people attending. I am excited to see the hard work of so many great people come to fruition.

If you're one of my local peeps, it's still not to late to RSVP.

Yeah, I'm looking at you. Call me.

Needless to say, I am quite swamped, but like I said, in a really fun way. Lest I neglect my children or duties for one more second, I just wanted to let you know that my blog will be silent for the next week or so. I shouldn't even be writing this because I have a florist to call, a guest list to update, and a program to proofread.

However, I couldn't resist a chance to share my big news with all of you.

I am suddenly $1,303,360 richer.

Get a load of me making such a huge amount of coin overnight!

One million bones, y'all.

Just picture me all Dr. Evil with my pinky at the corner of my mouth going, "ONE MILLLLLLION DOLLARS."


It's totally legit.

I won the UK Awards of 2011! told me so, and sytan78 and I apparently go way back, because he has exclusive address to my private email address. He would never lie to me.

Would you sytan78? Don't play mama for no fool.

The British Financial Department verifies it!

Whatever that is.

I'm sure the British Financial Department has something to do with the House of Lords or Parliament.

You know, totally legit British-like stuff.

Don't scoff. The British Financial Department is NOT in some guy's basement, and this is NOT a scam.

They just need my name. And my address. And my nationality.

My nationality?

Why sytan78? Why do you care that I'm half Polish, and a smidge of German and a dash of Scottish and a pinch of Irish?

Why sytan78?

Don't tell me these things matter to you.

Come to think of it, I bet the winner of the UK Award of 2011 gets a front row seat to the Royal Wedding of William and Catherine!

Yep. That's it.

Now, I will have to go hat shopping, and Bill will need a morning suit with tails.

I'm not allowed to shake the Queen's hand, right?

When I'm at the reception, I probably shouldn't request that the band play Usher's song, "More", right?

There are so many things to know, now that I'm a celebrity in the UK.

Y'all, we've just hit the big time.


In fact, I'm not sure I'll resume blogging once the school auction is over, what with me with 800,000GPB richer, and an award winner in the UK.

They might even make a statue in my honor, and Wills and Kate and I will start chumming around. In fact, I'm sure they'll even let me call them, "Wills and Kate".

I can totally see it now.

You guys, this is huge.


  1. Good luck with your fund raiser, we love our parish school almost lost it due to money issues a few years back so keep up the good work!!

    And about your windfall,can I borrow 5 bucks? LOL!

  2. You lucky ducky, you.

    But...hang on...they don't want your date of birth and Social Security # for verification purposes?

    Might be a scam then. Proceed with caution.

  3. That was HILARIOUS. Really. I can see why the DHousemommy gave you an award! Would you be interested in contributing sometime on We are a group of GenXer moms (including Dhouse) who share inspiration/laughs with our readers ... I think they would totally enjoy your style! Great post!!

  4. EVERY single time I get one of those emails I wish it were true. And I wish I was naive enough to believe it, for just a minute, not long enough to send them any info, just long enough to feel what it would feel like to think you have 1,000,000 or 48,000,000 dollars or whatever crazy amount of money around the corner!

  5. Just put all that coinage into that auction and watch them make a statue of you outside of the Catholic school! You are so funny, girlfriend!


Can we talk? Don't be shy. I'd love to hear what you have to say.