Friday, March 4, 2011

You know you wanted to know all this about me.

Friends, awards season is among us.

I know, I know, the Grammys are over. As are the Golden Globes. The SAGs and the Oscars? Done and done.

Wait! Don't forget about the Stylish Blogger Awards! Coming to a blog near you!

More specifically, this blog.
I won something, y'all!

Thanks to Sue, also known as Desperate Housemommy, I am an award-winning blogger!

I'm so flattered.

And I don't even have to give a boring acceptance speech!

However, in order to accept this award, there are a few things I must do. First, I have thank the giver of the award, (mwah, mwah! Air kisses on both cheeks to Sue!) then I have to share 7 facts about myself on this blog post. Finally, I have to pass the award on to 15 or less bloggers.

Simple enough. Here goes.

7 Things You Probably Don't Need to Know About Me, But I'm Telling You Anyway.

1.) I love music. Always have, always will. Ever since I received my first "jam box" at the age of 12, I have been smitten. It was bubblegum pink, had a long antenna, and most importantly, a cassette player in the front. I would save my babysitting money, buy a two-pack of Maxell or Memorex cassette tapes, and pop one of those bad boys in the holster. Then, when one of my favorite tunes would come on the radio, I would excitedly run over to my jam box, shriek, "Oh! It's La Bamba!" and hit record. Sometimes I would only manage to tape half the song, but it was no matter. I needed my Los Lobos fix, and I got it.

This was before mp-3s, kids.

My iPod is an eclectic mix of songs, and I'm sure if science were to figure out a way to profile people based on the songs on their iPods, they would be stumped at mine. I have gangsta rap, mixed with Josh Groban, mixed with rock, mixed with Black Eyed Peas, mixed with classical, mixed with Kenny G, mixed with country, mixed with Usher, mixed with oldies, mixed with Michael Buble, mixed with hip-hop, mixed with Kenny Loggins, mixed with disco, mixed with Regina Spektor, mixed with Kenny Rogers.

Apparently, I like recording artists named Kenny. Take that, science.

Also, in no way, shape or form, would I say that I have "Bieber Fever," but I enjoy the song, "Baby" and recently paid good money to download the song from iTunes so I can get my "Baby" fix whenever I want. I am embarrassed to admit this fact.

But not embarrassed enough to admit it on my blog.
Yo! Even the moms like my jam! I'm so versatile!
'Cause he's like Baby, Baby, Baby.

Ohhhhh.

Like Baby, Baby, Baby.

Nooooooo.

He thought that you would always be his.

Even though you're both only 14 and his voice hasn't changed yet.

Young love is hot.

2.) Fresh on the heels of my music obsession is my obsession with dancing.

I am not classically trained. I just love poppin' and lockin' and shaking my lanky, somewhat coordinated self all over my kitchen or whatever dance floor I can find.

I look back nostalgically at the good old college days when my friends and I would head over to the dive bar, complete with sticky floors, and shake it to a little bit of LL Cool J or Coolio until closing time.

Now? An 8:00 p.m. kitchen dance party is in order at least a few nights a week, and my kids are my favorite dancing partners.

3.) I love Rice Krispies cereal.

However, Rice Krispies might not be the best cereal for my marriage.

Bill cannot stand the way I eat Rice Krispies.

In order to properly enjoy a bowl of Rice Krispies cereal, I pour about 1/4 cup cereal into the bottom of one of my favorite porcelain bowls. Then, in order to maintain maximum crispiness, I pour only enough milk to cover the cereal at the bottom of the bowl. Therefore, it takes me at least 20 minutes to eat a bowl of Krispies. On and on it goes: cereal, then milk, then eating, cereal, then milk, then eating, all the while my Krispies remaining...well...crisp.

For years, Bill has noticed this particular quirk of mine, but I had no idea that it bothered him, as he never said anything about it. Finally, one Saturday morning he snapped. "Clare, what is UP with you having to eat your Rice Krispies like that?!?!"

"Like what?" I asked innocently. Surely everyone on the planet must eat their Rice Krispies the same brilliant way that I eat them.

"Like that!" he said, exasperated. "Why do you only pour the smallest amount at a time?!? Just pour a big bowl and be done with it!"

I shuddered. "Pour a big bowl?!? Why would I do that?!? If I did, then by the time I got to the Krispies at the bottom, they would be all soggy! Who wants soggy Rice Krispies? Kind of goes against the name, doesn't it?"

In all my smug rightness, my dear husband had no answer. He gave up.

Clare, for the win.

I know he has visions of the two of us rattling around the house in our old age, and me smacking my dentures to the tune of Rice Krispies crispiness.

In good times and bad, Bill. Good times and Rice Krispies eating.

Snap, crackle, and shut up, Clare.
4.) I notice poor grammar, and it irks me to no end. For example, I would actually find myself wincing if I were to read, "Wow! Your so awesome! I saw there new dog, and I thought its awesome to!"

Ouch. My eyeballs hurt.

I would wince especially if you are old enough and smart enough to know better. That said, I am not above using sentence fragments in my blog. Like all the time.

See what I did there?

The word, "literally" fits into my grammar rant, because you are not literally going to die if you don't meet Justin Bieber, girl. Or, you are not literally going to kill someone if you don't get a new iPad 2. At least I hope not.

But? I might literally scream my head off if I hear you misuse this word.

No I wouldn't. That would just be messy. And loud.

5.) Cheese is one of the most beautiful, perfect foods known to man. I could never live without it. However, I would never, ever eat a piece of raw cheese. Cheese on a cracker? A cube of cheese? Yuck. I gag at the thought. Melted cheese? Cheese cooked into an appetizer? Yum. I salivate at the thought.

6.) I think Colin Firth is dreamy. So is Simon Baker. So is Michael Buble. My husband is perfectly okay with these celebrities that I drool over crush on, and will indulge me in watching any of their performances. Fortunately, I think my husband is dreamier than any of these three men. It's close, but he wins every time.

Check that. It's not even close. Bill, for the win.

7.) I think the three best inventions of the last decade are (in no particular order): the iPod, the DVR, and the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. My life has been changed for the better because of all three of these things.

8.) Sometimes I can't shut up, which is why I added #8. And? It is also why I blog.

Without further ado, I present to you the bloggers that I think are most deserving of the Stylish Blogger Award:

Janet, from Muffintopmommy
Kelley, from Kelley's Breakroom
Nichole, from in these small moments
Rachel, from Mommy Needs a Vacation
The Empress, from Good Day, Regular People
Katie, from Sluiter Nation
Natalie, from Mommy of a Monster
Sherri, from Old Tweener

Enjoy, ladies, and pass it on!

7 comments:

  1. ::blushing:: for me? Thank you!!

    And I am a total grammar nazi too! he he!

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  2. Girl, your the best for putting me in your blog---I'm truly honored to be in their. You're habit of eating Rice Krispies like that makes you kind of a cereal asshat, though. Im with Bill on that--its random. And literally? Your the only girl I know who doesnt like cheese to. Dude. What up? But I love me some grammer to, I really do. Keep up the grate work!

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  3. Oh muffintopmommy, I have never wanted to print out and frame a comment as much as this one! Brillz.
    Also, Bill accepts your sympathies with my sad cereal-eating ways.

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  4. Wow, such awesome company to be in, too! Thank you, and I'm literally dying that I got an award from ewe tooday!

    I am a total grammar nazi, by the way....

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  5. Thanks so much for including me! Cheers!

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  6. ::jumping up and down:: thank you, thank you!!
    And seriously? I could have written this post...we are that similar!

    Giving you a shout out on my Monster Likes tomorrow - thanks again!

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  7. new to your blog...love it! ...hilarious!
    am a follower, come visit if you'd like to:
    childhoodmyths.blogspot.com

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