Friday, January 13, 2012

Are you there, blog? It's me, Clare.

Welcome to 2012.

Even though that's kind of old news.

Like two weeks old.

But here I am, sitting in front of my blog and I can't think of what to say.

My blog is an old friend. A dear friend. A friend in whom I like to confide. A friend with whom I will always feel comfortable.



It's like the pre-Facebook/texting/email days when two besties who used to braid each other's hair, tell each other their deepest, darkest secrets, slip notes into each other's lockers and make cootie catchers together that said, "You will marry Scott Baio, have 11 kids and live in a mansion together", until one of them moves to the next town, and then, one day, whilst shopping for rubber bracelets and jelly shoes at the mall, they awkwardly run into each other at Sbarro, and then...silence.


It's kind of like that.

If you get my gist.

It's not that I don't have things to say. I do.

You're not going to get rid of me that easily.

It's just that December 2011 arrived at my home, along with a raging case of writer's block, which was induced by general holiday fun, chaos, and busyness.

You know, move the elf! Put up the tree! Move the elf! Put up another tree! And another one! Buy presents! Wrap presents! Move the elf! Plan a party! Plan another party! Move the elf! Bake cookies! Bake more cookies! Eat, drink, and be merry! Move the elf! More merry-making!

Oh. And did I mention?

Move the elf.

Thank goodness our elf, Christopher, is snug as bug in his plastic box in the basement, not to be seen until at least December 1, 2012. Because being innovative and original every night with that red piece of felt and plastic just about sucked every creative thought right out of my brain.

So to speak.

But now, I am back, and my blog, which has read the date, "November 29, 2011" since...well...November 29, 2011, beckons me. It is calling me, like an old friend. It is saying, "Hey. Did you forget about me? Because we kinda had a good thing going there for awhile. You used to vent to me. You used to tell me all about your memories, your laughs, your hopes, and your feelings of failure. But now? Nothing."

I miss my old friend.

Like I said, it's not that I don't have things to say. But when you abandon a blog for a month and a half, don't you think you should come back with a bang? Don't you think you should have something more than just an entry about how you cannot get your kids to keep their bedrooms clean and you are contemplating picking up EVERY. LAST. THING. that clutters their bedroom floors, throwing it all into big, black, garbage bags and piling it on the curb?

Don't you think that your first entry of the new year should be a little more profound than, "Hey guys! I am on cloud nine! And it's all because I organized my Rubbermaid/Tupperware/plasticware cupboard! And now? Everything in it has a matching lid!"

Which it does. True story. And Mama is very happy about it. Because sometimes? It is the little things in life.

But that's not a first-blog-entry-of-2012-deep-and-profound-kind-of-entry.

My first entry of the new year should be better than that, shouldn't it?

I don't know about, "profound", but here goes.

I have high hopes for 2012. It's going to be a great year, full of many new experiences, a fun family, great friends, and good times. I'm sure it will have its challenges, struggles, and sad moments, like all years do. I just hope those moments are few and far between.

I am a positive person who likes to see the sunny side of life. The glass half-full. The rainbow after the rain. I tend to surround myself with other positive people.

Debbie Downer would not be a friend of mine.

But when it comes to resolutions for 2012, I come up blank. I love being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I think I'm pretty good at these roles. Not perfect, mind you, but pretty darn good. Rather than wanting to change anything about myself or my life, I just want to keep on being open to the newness of a new year, and wherever it takes me and my family.

This year, I will get to meet a new nephew and a new niece.

I will attend the Erma Bombeck Writer's Workshop in April.

I will help to plan the auction at my children's Catholic school, and hopefully raise a big pile of money for a great cause.

I will attend baby showers and celebrate the joy of others that I love becoming a mother for the first time.

I will go on vacation with my husband and children.

I will cheer for my children as they play sports.

I will wipe tears away, and offer comforting hugs.

I will love my family fully and fiercely.

I will waste time doing absolutely nothing productive, and try not to feel guilty that I am not organizing a junk drawer or a closet.

I will scold and punish, guide and teach.

I will cry tears of frustration, and think, even momentarily, that I suck at being a mother.

I will pat myself on the back and tell myself that I don't suck at being a mother.

I will enjoy child-free moments with just my husband, who is my best friend.

I will laugh with my girlfriends and make time for myself.

I will do all these things in 2012. This is what I know for sure.

I will try not to focus on what I'm not doing. What I'm not cooking from scratch. What I'm not getting around to writing with the hopes of being published one day. What homemade craft I'm not doing with my kids. What trip I'm not taking. What Pinterest project I haven't made yet. Which room of my house I'm not cleaning at this very moment.

That's all just negative thinking, and I'll leave that for the Negative Nellies of the world.

Because the rest is out there, in the vast awesomeness also known as 2012. It's just waiting to happen.

And I'm open to it all.

I hope you are too.

Happy New Year, friends.